Results from Shit Kicker Texas Death Match Pinball Tourney

Posted: May 26th, 2008 by ORBIT


Last night 18 of the World’s Most Undesirable Pinball players met at the Ship Ahoy Tavern on SE Gladstone to battle it out for the title of the World’s Most Unsavory Shit-Kickin Pinballer. To avoid the hassle of the unnecessarily long and emotional double elimination triple complication 46 round quadruple bypass bracket conundrum style tournament, CFF organizers opted for a more simple approach: Last Man Standing Shit Kicker Texas Death Match Pinball Battle.

The rules were simple: players had two hours to get the highest multiplayer scores on 4 pinball tables. The top three scores for each machine at the end of the battle earned points. The games were Indiana Jones (Williams), Star Trek TNG, Sopranos and a Scared Stiff with a dangling, snapped left flipper rubber.

At the end of the night only one baller was left standing: CFF’s very own ROM. ROMshitkicker.jpg is a total TEXAS SHIT KICKER. He put up a score of 1 billion on STNG on his very first quarter and it went uncontested for the remainder of the battle. To secure his victory, he maintaned respectable scores on Indy and the badly crippled Scared Stiff. Congratulations ROM, you have officially earned your pick of the breeding pool. Get humpin…

A tie for for second and third was decided by an overtime shootout on Indy. Second place was earned by non-member and pinball afficionado Mark. He was rippin some serious pins all evening. Third place went to non-member Jake who totally dropped the hammer on some Sopranos. Congratulations and respect to both of you.


Honorable mention goes to CFF’s All-Star baller and veteran ripper REPLAY. REPLAY put up the obnoxiously high score of 700 million on the meanest, most vengeful Indiana Jones on earth. It was truly a pintabulous sight to behold. The entire battlefield of warriors stood momentarily defeated and mesmerized by REPLAY’s flipper skills. REPLAY has earned his moniker time and time again.

CFF would like to thank all the participants who showed up for our battle. We would also like to officially thank Anna at the Ship Ahoy Tavern for putting up jake1.jpgwith our slam-tilting, beer-spilling ways for all these years, and also for rewarding the final contestants with a free round of drinks. You are an honorary Texas Shit Kicker in our book.

There will be more pinball battles in the future, so keep your fingers juiced, your mind loose and stay tuned…

Categories: CFF

Comments: 5 comments


5 Responses to 'Results from Shit Kicker Texas Death Match Pinball Tourney'

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  1. rom   26 May 08 at 4:22 pm

    Thanks for not posting a shot of me with a silly grin. I have a rep to maintain – a rep of being a stolid, robotic ripper.

    And thanks Orbit and DDT for organizing the tourney. That was a fun meeting.

    Also, if anyone’s looking for tips on how to play pinball well, here you go: have enormous hands.

  2. Kickback   27 May 08 at 2:52 am

    Totally stoked to see some new faces. Bring these fellas out more, j

  3. Backglass   27 May 08 at 3:02 am

    Rom is a shit kicker. Sorry I had to work. ROM, way to put on your shit kickers and kick some shit. DRINK FIGHT AND PLAY PINBALL!

  4. Backglass   27 May 08 at 3:03 am

    OH btw. My vote is in for Mark.
    After that, more girlz…
    and a brother.

  5. Kickback   29 May 08 at 4:01 am

    Fix my machines Mark! And quit playing married and join the gang! (call me,j)


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